Tweens.........my my how they can TRAIN us to jump through hoops for them if we are not careful!
Then when we are sufficiently trained to please them in every possible way, (by now they are 18 and so pleased at our abilities to perform) we go out into the world and do our tricks and embarrass ourselves HORRIBLY!
Not me of course, I knew better.
This past weekend My dh and I went to my dd's college orientation program. Teens and parents in separate lectures and Q&A sessions of course! Kids learning stuff they don't think Mom knows,....... and parents being warned about stuff they should not let the teen know, they know. lol
Anyway, some of the "well trained" parents spoke up and asked questions that were very entertaining to the rest of us (smarter parents), and made complete fools of themselves!
"Do you have a laundry service I can get for my son?" NO
"Do you notify me if my daughters grades start to fall?" NO
"How many classes can they miss before they get in trouble?"
NO one cares if they miss class
"What time do the boys have to be out of the girls dorms?"
No one cares about this.
"What time are -'lights off"?
No time, in fact some students stay up all night
"I think the AC units next to the window are too noisy for my son to be able to sleep?"
He'll get use to it.
We smuggly giggled! along with many others. I'm sorry but did they think college was CAMP SUNSHINE! People...People... you must prepare your teens to face a real world where they set the time for chores and work ...and sleep(maybe) and deal with aggravation and ...and.. and the opposite sex in their dorms ........at night OMG!
Here's one of my mantras TEACH TWEENS TO DO THEIR OWN LAUNDRY !
Read this very funny post about learning when you are being duped at verybusymomwith4
Evaluate tween behavior and attitude at A Parents Guide to The Teens Brain
And beware all you helicopter parents college is a NO Fly Zone ............ LOL
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Showing posts with label Parents- ?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parents- ?. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Tween Lolitas - ???
Our girls are growing up WAY TOO FAST! I don't mean......"it was only yesterday she started first grade and now she's going off to college..........sniff-sniff".(I'll be going through this in 2 months!) What I mean is why are tweens wearing .......well -- sleazy skin bearing outfits, highlighting their hair, loading up on makeup and shopping excessively ...
Hmmm.....where do tweens get their money?
Who allows them to wear pants with "Hottie" or "Juicy" plastered across their butt?
Who forks over the $50 at the salon to dye their hair?
Who thinks this is CUTE? Parents who are very ignorant of what it's like to control a teenager who dresses this way. Parents who don't realize the patterns of dress you allow at 10 will carry into the teen years. Your "cute" little, scantily dressed little girl becomes a partially naked, provocative women being watched all too closely by MEN of all ages.
What tweens want is to dress cool and stylish and this can be done without becoming a Lolita.
Here are some ideas:
Layer tops. Tanks and Camis under low cut T-shirts or shirts with large armholes or stylish cutouts. Stylish without a skin show.
Tights and shorts under mini skirts, dresses or holey jeans. "Funky"- no butt cheeks peeking out.
Leotards or body suits under low riding jeans. Cool and no belly bared.
Let them wear weird combinations of colors, patterns, inside out or upside down. It's an expression of Independence, and not demeaning to themselves. Allow fun and crazy accessories. Belts, hats, jewelry, etc. My dd wore black cotton gloves with the fingers cut out for several weeks to middle school. Why? ......... When I asked I got the eye roll, which we all know means " I cannot possibly explain this to some one old like you" It was a Michael Jackson look which was popular when I was a weird teenager. I should have told her that ............she would have trashed the gloves immediately! HA!
Let them use temporary dye to put streaks or more in their hair. Cheap and fun!
Makeup I say NO but you decide on that one.
Shopping as a hobby! This I will leave for another post because I will take off on a rant If I'm not careful. Tweens should be doing hundreds of other things for entertainment, things that build their self esteem and self image. Browse through a girl scout badge book. The skills girl scouts learn and explore are incredibly fun and teach them Independence and to value themselves and each other. I am a big fan of the G.S.A. program.
You control the shopping and fashion of your tween. Be with her when she shops. If you don't like her outfit - don't allow her to leave the house until she changes. She will fuss and whine and you must ignore this and refuse to debate the issue. Very tough sometimes,.... but you will teach her to respect herself and your rules. In the teen years she will be smarter about her self image and continue to respect your opinion.
Hmmm.....where do tweens get their money?
Who allows them to wear pants with "Hottie" or "Juicy" plastered across their butt?
Who forks over the $50 at the salon to dye their hair?
Who thinks this is CUTE? Parents who are very ignorant of what it's like to control a teenager who dresses this way. Parents who don't realize the patterns of dress you allow at 10 will carry into the teen years. Your "cute" little, scantily dressed little girl becomes a partially naked, provocative women being watched all too closely by MEN of all ages.
What tweens want is to dress cool and stylish and this can be done without becoming a Lolita.
Here are some ideas:
Layer tops. Tanks and Camis under low cut T-shirts or shirts with large armholes or stylish cutouts. Stylish without a skin show.
Tights and shorts under mini skirts, dresses or holey jeans. "Funky"- no butt cheeks peeking out.
Leotards or body suits under low riding jeans. Cool and no belly bared.
Let them wear weird combinations of colors, patterns, inside out or upside down. It's an expression of Independence, and not demeaning to themselves. Allow fun and crazy accessories. Belts, hats, jewelry, etc. My dd wore black cotton gloves with the fingers cut out for several weeks to middle school. Why? ......... When I asked I got the eye roll, which we all know means " I cannot possibly explain this to some one old like you" It was a Michael Jackson look which was popular when I was a weird teenager. I should have told her that ............she would have trashed the gloves immediately! HA!
Let them use temporary dye to put streaks or more in their hair. Cheap and fun!
Makeup I say NO but you decide on that one.
Shopping as a hobby! This I will leave for another post because I will take off on a rant If I'm not careful. Tweens should be doing hundreds of other things for entertainment, things that build their self esteem and self image. Browse through a girl scout badge book. The skills girl scouts learn and explore are incredibly fun and teach them Independence and to value themselves and each other. I am a big fan of the G.S.A. program.
You control the shopping and fashion of your tween. Be with her when she shops. If you don't like her outfit - don't allow her to leave the house until she changes. She will fuss and whine and you must ignore this and refuse to debate the issue. Very tough sometimes,.... but you will teach her to respect herself and your rules. In the teen years she will be smarter about her self image and continue to respect your opinion.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Billy Ray Cyrus Causes Achy Breaky Heartache in Tween Fans
Poor Miley. Another nice young girl being led through the world by idiot parents in the entertainment biz. Any responsible parent with any honest concern for their daughter would not leave their child unattended at photo shoot, by a famous photographer known for unusual and often provocative photos. One news report said the parents left the shoot before the half naked pic was taken, but her grandmother and a teacher were there. Are they stupid too. If a photographer wants to take an artsy suggestive half nude pic of a 15 year old child star............#1 NO - she's too young ...................AND #2 The Media , Vanity Fair, will exploit her to sell mags $$$$$(and they did), so DOUBLE NO!!
And didn't they see the pics before publication? You bet they did! Who in their right mind would not be able to predict the outrage of her fans - innocent tweens. Again the message to tweens that nudity and sexualizing kids is OK. Calling all parents............explain to your upset kids AGAIN, how this is so wrong for a young girl, and how people make mistakes.
AND what is with the picture of Miley with her Dad - no cozy loving father & daughter pose here. They look estranged, like they have had a fight. Sorry Ms. Leibovitz you get an "F" from me on this project. Actually this picture was foreshadowing of the day after vanity fair hit the stands! She should be at odds with her Dad, He truly let her down by not protecting her from the selfish money grubbing media. I encourage everyone to tell him he screwed up and I hope his "achy breaky heart" feels like S_ _ _ !
And didn't they see the pics before publication? You bet they did! Who in their right mind would not be able to predict the outrage of her fans - innocent tweens. Again the message to tweens that nudity and sexualizing kids is OK. Calling all parents............explain to your upset kids AGAIN, how this is so wrong for a young girl, and how people make mistakes.
AND what is with the picture of Miley with her Dad - no cozy loving father & daughter pose here. They look estranged, like they have had a fight. Sorry Ms. Leibovitz you get an "F" from me on this project. Actually this picture was foreshadowing of the day after vanity fair hit the stands! She should be at odds with her Dad, He truly let her down by not protecting her from the selfish money grubbing media. I encourage everyone to tell him he screwed up and I hope his "achy breaky heart" feels like S_ _ _ !
Friday, March 28, 2008
R Rated Movies for Tweens-- No WAY!
Some Moms are waaaaaaay off course when planning birthday parties for tweens. Remember the one I wrote about who was taking ten year olds for the day on the town in a LIMO! This is not the only unusual call I have received and,............ I have personally dealt with my own girl being invited to some bizarre events. One Mom wanted to allow 12 year olds a hotel room (with Mom next door) for a semi-supervised slumber party. Why don't people just do this in their own home and REALLY supervise the kids. Is this yet another case of a "Marshmallow" parent afraid to say NO to the tween who wants something that is unrealistic and unsafe for a 12 year old. Moms I beg you "Get a Backbone and do What is Right for your YOUNG girls !!!! "
Another party my daughter was invited to at age 10 involved a movie night & slumber party with a fellow girl scout of an intelligent Mom. I however was always the guardian of the "R" rated movies form my kids ( they fought with me but I was relentless NO WAY !! and I would retreat to my room) So I just casually asked what movies they would be watching? I was informed by the well spoken mother of 3 girls that they had "Something About Mary" ( This movie begins with a hysterical "cum" in the hair scene), "The Exorcist" ( full of foul language and an implied self fornication scene), and "Dirty Dancing" (several sex scenes and an abortion story line). These are not for 10 year-olds NO WAY NO HOW. I laughed until I almost peed my pants the first time I saw "Something About Mary" and "Dirty Dancing" is my favorite movie of ALL TIME..................................."Nobody puts Baby in the corner"............................ That's when I fell in love with Patrick Swaaze ( he's in my prayers now)
So I told her my girl was not allowed to see R movies and she wondered what movies I would allow. I went to the local blockbuster and picked up some great flicks in the "G" section - so simple ............I just don't get some people ????? What do you think - am I too old fashioned? And don't tell me 10 year olds don't understand what's in those movies. They talk among themselves and often understand it all too incorrectly, which is even worse!
Another party my daughter was invited to at age 10 involved a movie night & slumber party with a fellow girl scout of an intelligent Mom. I however was always the guardian of the "R" rated movies form my kids ( they fought with me but I was relentless NO WAY !! and I would retreat to my room) So I just casually asked what movies they would be watching? I was informed by the well spoken mother of 3 girls that they had "Something About Mary" ( This movie begins with a hysterical "cum" in the hair scene), "The Exorcist" ( full of foul language and an implied self fornication scene), and "Dirty Dancing" (several sex scenes and an abortion story line). These are not for 10 year-olds NO WAY NO HOW. I laughed until I almost peed my pants the first time I saw "Something About Mary" and "Dirty Dancing" is my favorite movie of ALL TIME..................................."Nobody puts Baby in the corner"............................ That's when I fell in love with Patrick Swaaze ( he's in my prayers now)
So I told her my girl was not allowed to see R movies and she wondered what movies I would allow. I went to the local blockbuster and picked up some great flicks in the "G" section - so simple ............I just don't get some people ????? What do you think - am I too old fashioned? And don't tell me 10 year olds don't understand what's in those movies. They talk among themselves and often understand it all too incorrectly, which is even worse!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Baby Frankensteins !
I read a lot of articles about parenting. Summaries of the results of research studies ( no one wants to read a whole research study or,........... no one can read a research study without falling asleep), trends reported by leading therapists, problems in the school systems, and Moms requesting help in parenting forums. I plan to discuss them - but I am not going to quote all the resources and footnote the info. Just trust me I'm not making this stuff up. There's no need to - real life is full of kid and parent problems. AND a lot of the solutions are just plain-COMMON SENSE !!!Shrinks are reporting a new type of childhood behavior problem they are calling "Frankenkinders" Kinder- age 4-5 , combined with Franken as in Frankenstein / monster.
Little monsters or BRATS as I like to call them - an old fashioned term I guess. The latest new contributing factor causing this brat 00ps,...............I mean frankenkinder behavior is overloading young children with technology toys and decreasing the amount of actual human contact they experience. Have you seen any? In restaurants they have gameboys and dvd players entertaining them so Mom and Dad can ignore them and have a drink and chat.
Have you seen the commercial ( I cringe every time) where the two boys are in the new minivan watching a movie and playing hand held video games. The father arrives and sticks his head in and delightfully informs them that "the tree house is finished !!" The two boys ask if it has a dvd player or video game system and of course he sayes "No" and they shut the van door in his face and say "NO thanks we'll stay in here"
.......................I hate it !!
So SAD to chose electronics over a "tree house" full of make believe play and fresh air ! I lived in trees growing up and so did my kids. It was our own little world/ fort - we loved it.
Parents are using the electronic entertainment to babysit the kids and the kids are becoming dependant on it and demanding more and more of it. A sad ( my favorite word today) word used to describe these kids is "emotionally neglected' because of the huge decrease in interaction between them and their parents. "EMOTIONALLY NEGLECTED" ---THIS IS HORRIBLE. This is a term often used when a child is abandoned and has no parent --now it's happening in homes where the parents are PRESENT !
Technology is FANTASTIC don't get me wrong - but it has to be a small part of you life - not the majority of your life. Leave the electronic games at home - there are tons of games to play while waiting for the waitress to bring the food ie ; hangman (on the back of the paper place mat ), drawing and coloring (bring supplies with you), "I spy something red( blue, black, etc............)can you guess what it is?", sneaking salt into Dads tea, give the toddler a lemon to suck on ( might want to bring the video camera) , whose paper airplane (made from place mats) can travel the furthest, how many trips to the bathroom before Mom looses her cool -and my sons FAVORITE - Guess how many pieces of gum are stuck under the table? --------------- you get the idea -Have fun and make family memories. Tell me what games do you play while waitng for the food?
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