Bonding Moms & Daughters To Navigate Our Crazy World ..........Oh Yeah AND Crafts!!!

The Relaxing ? Tween Years

2008-06-30T01:45:00.003-04:00

Just when you think your child is finally old enough to spend some time playing with friends without your constant supervision, can fix their own snacks and can entertain themselves- it's time to get even more involved in their lives! You thought you could go back to relaxing a little , watching adult TV shows , and having adult only conversation.. Forget it. It's time to coach , attend performances, bus kids to activities and host sleepovers!!

The tween years, 8 to 12, can be smooth sailing for many kids , with 13 being a jump into the rough teenage moody years. For other kids, especially girls, the tween years can be the rocky beginning of the tumultuous teens. Either way a parent must be prepared for the teen years when kids crave independence and control of their lives and yet have displays of behavior that prove their immaturity.

How can a parent best prepare for the bumpy teen years?

The answer is to insure a close relationship in the tween years. If a tween enjoys and respects their parent, setting rules and getting compliance from a teen will be much easier.

Here are a few tips to help bond the parent and child relationship during the tween years

Ensure your tween has an opportunity to find activities besides school work and home leisure that are challenging and fun. The possibilities are numerous; sports, music, art, science , volunteer organizations, civic clubs etc. Make sure they try a variety until they settle on a few favorites. As a parent you must ensure they follow through with the commitment they make and most importantly you must get involved in helping to support the activity. The involvement can be simply attending performances, or keeping records, or running the whole show if you are so inclined. Your tween will be thrilled you are there and you will have lots to discuss at the dinner table.

Schedule daily time to talk to your tween. Ideally this is a meal time but could be bedtime or right after school. Your work schedule may dictate this time, but it needs to be every day. It needs to be a relaxed, non-rushed period when the two of you can just chat about life or problems or anything really. The point is to let the kid know you are available and you care.

Get to know your tweens friends and their parents. Allow the friends to be at your home frequently and include them in activities and fun. Your tween will want to stay at their homes and you want to know that environment is a safe and supervised home. Again, you are showing your kid that you care enough to get involved in their lives.

So, keep your tween busy in healthy activities, be a part of these activities and be available to listen and chat. Build a strong bond before you head into the teens years, the ride will be less "bumpy." ( there's that cute word again to describe the TEEN years LOL)

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Watch Out For Tween Trainers

2008-06-25T03:50:00.003-04:00

Tweens.........my my how they can TRAIN us to jump through hoops for them if we are not careful!
Then when we are sufficiently trained to please them in every possible way, (by now they are 18 and so pleased at our abilities to perform) we go out into the world and do our tricks and embarrass ourselves HORRIBLY!

Not me of course, I knew better.

This past weekend My dh and I went to my dd's college orientation program. Teens and parents in separate lectures and Q&A sessions of course! Kids learning stuff they don't think Mom knows,....... and parents being warned about stuff they should not let the teen know, they know. lol

Anyway, some of the "well trained" parents spoke up and asked questions that were very entertaining to the rest of us (smarter parents), and made complete fools of themselves!

"Do you have a laundry service I can get for my son?" NO

"Do you notify me if my daughters grades start to fall?" NO

"How many classes can they miss before they get in trouble?"

NO one cares if they miss class

"What time do the boys have to be out of the girls dorms?"

No one cares about this.

"What time are -'lights off"?

No time, in fact some students stay up all night

"I think the AC units next to the window are too noisy for my son to be able to sleep?"

He'll get use to it.

We smuggly giggled! along with many others. I'm sorry but did they think college was CAMP SUNSHINE! People...People... you must prepare your teens to face a real world where they set the time for chores and work ...and sleep(maybe) and deal with aggravation and ...and.. and the opposite sex in their dorms ........at night OMG!

Here's one of my mantras TEACH TWEENS TO DO THEIR OWN LAUNDRY !

Read this very funny post about learning when you are being duped at verybusymomwith4

Evaluate tween behavior and attitude at A Parents Guide to The Teens Brain

And beware all you helicopter parents college is a NO Fly Zone ............ LOL

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Pretty Sassy Straw Purse for Tween Fashionistas

2008-06-23T01:22:00.006-04:00

Time for a new fun craft for Tweens and Moms!

I picked up these very cute straw purses at the dollar store. They were lined with fabric and Only One Dollar - how do they make them so cheap? They did have some very tacky sequin decor on them which I easily removed by snipping a few threads. I chose a "Spring" design and a "Tropical" design but feel free to do your own thing as they say. Remember Tweens are crazy for choosing their own style and also LOVE crafts that are FASHION related. Teaching them to create their own style can save LOTS OF MONEY too, because a girl who can design, glue and sew loves the individuality of her wardrobe and often avoids the "cookie cutter" expensive fashions worn by the masses.

Wander through a Michaels or A.C. Moore craft store and you can get ideas for the design style you like. Browse through the jewelry and applique isles and something will "Grab Your Fancy" ........................Exactly what is "your fancy"? (Strange cliche )

Anyway Have fun.................. AND GOGO GLUE GUN!........................

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Tween Lolitas - ???

2008-06-15T06:28:00.002-04:00

Our girls are growing up WAY TOO FAST! I don't mean......"it was only yesterday she started first grade and now she's going off to college..........sniff-sniff".(I'll be going through this in 2 months!) What I mean is why are tweens wearing .......well -- sleazy skin bearing outfits, highlighting their hair, loading up on makeup and shopping excessively ...

Hmmm.....where do tweens get their money?

Who allows them to wear pants with "Hottie" or "Juicy" plastered across their butt?

Who forks over the $50 at the salon to dye their hair?

Who thinks this is CUTE? Parents who are very ignorant of what it's like to control a teenager who dresses this way. Parents who don't realize the patterns of dress you allow at 10 will carry into the teen years. Your "cute" little, scantily dressed little girl becomes a partially naked, provocative women being watched all too closely by MEN of all ages.

What tweens want is to dress cool and stylish and this can be done without becoming a Lolita.
Here are some ideas:

Layer tops. Tanks and Camis under low cut T-shirts or shirts with large armholes or stylish cutouts. Stylish without a skin show.

Tights and shorts under mini skirts, dresses or holey jeans. "Funky"- no butt cheeks peeking out.

Leotards or body suits under low riding jeans. Cool and no belly bared.

Let them wear weird combinations of colors, patterns, inside out or upside down. It's an expression of Independence, and not demeaning to themselves. Allow fun and crazy accessories. Belts, hats, jewelry, etc. My dd wore black cotton gloves with the fingers cut out for several weeks to middle school. Why? ......... When I asked I got the eye roll, which we all know means " I cannot possibly explain this to some one old like you" It was a Michael Jackson look which was popular when I was a weird teenager. I should have told her that ............she would have trashed the gloves immediately! HA!

Let them use temporary dye to put streaks or more in their hair. Cheap and fun!

Makeup I say NO but you decide on that one.

Shopping as a hobby! This I will leave for another post because I will take off on a rant If I'm not careful. Tweens should be doing hundreds of other things for entertainment, things that build their self esteem and self image. Browse through a girl scout badge book. The skills girl scouts learn and explore are incredibly fun and teach them Independence and to value themselves and each other. I am a big fan of the G.S.A. program.

You control the shopping and fashion of your tween. Be with her when she shops. If you don't like her outfit - don't allow her to leave the house until she changes. She will fuss and whine and you must ignore this and refuse to debate the issue. Very tough sometimes,.... but you will teach her to respect herself and your rules. In the teen years she will be smarter about her self image and continue to respect your opinion.

COME ON.................KARMA!

2008-06-11T05:12:00.007-04:00

OMG I am so excited - I'll probably jinx myself by blogging about it but..................BlogHer is having it's third annual conference, BlogHer'08, in San Francisco on July 18 and they are having a contest. They are giving away tote bags to the 1000+ attendees. Many of these ladies are the top bloggers in the country or maybe the world. The bag of course has the name of the conference, sponsers, date etc, blah-blah-blah........boring stuff on it.

More importantly, they are having a contest to determine the tag line to go on the bag, and I entered. and my submission was chosen as one of the 6 to be voted on in the next 10 days. The winning tag line will go on the bag as well as the .............are you ready .................The name and URL of the blog of the winner!!! I'm already envisioning it

GoGoGlueGunFun.com

up in lights ............I mean on the bags ...........and everyone ( all 1000) saying

" I have to go check out that blog with the cute name"

How cool would that be .............WAY COOL!!

Here's what I have won so far in my lifetime
1- A free rewiring of an old lamp ( I am not joking- that's why I remember it clearly)
2-A Pumpkin - I do love halloween
3-I was May Day princess in 2nd and 3rd grade - I was a cutie then....
4- A Fondue Set........well sort of, it was missing the skewers (used?)

And that's it for my whole 54 years .................I'm due for a WIN don't you think? Come oooooooooon Karma!........... I've been a dedicated nurse for 25+ years!

Oh,................ and here's my tag line

"Girls Gone World Wide", .................. cuter than me in 2nd grade!

So please go over to BlogHer the fantastic place for women bloggers to learn and chat and share ther wisdom................... and vote for my tag line !

Valuable Shadow Boxes

2008-06-04T00:26:00.005-04:00

Here's a Very Cool Project I found at the Comox Valley Kids Blog and want to share - I usually only post my own crafts, those for tweens that are "keepsake" items - not paper plates, paint and pasta. Simple and fun to do but usually in the circular file in a week. Tweens are capable of making things that are useful and attractive and keepable - Is that a word ? They build huge amounts of self confidence when something they create becomes keepable (If spell check sayes it's not a word then I beg to differ).

My Design-A- Doll kits, Dress A Bunny, Rattlesnake Toy, puppets. etc. are all things to be kept and enjoyed and that tells the tween --

"You made something of value and You are valuable"

The shadow boxes can house lots of treasures such as; nature collections, school year mementos, concert or movie tickets & playbills, childhood mementos, old jewelry & watches, weird junk tweens won't throw away and you think is clutter etc. Think about what souvenirs you have stored in drawers or boxes that would make a nice display. You know tweens think your stuff is boring clutter! (LOL) Drag them out of hiding and turn them into artwork!

Comox Valley Kids Shadow Box Craft Tell them I sent you!

It's So Fine To Dine and Whine

2008-06-02T06:03:00.000-04:00

How important is it to have a "family all together sit at the table with no TV on dinner"............. every day? Well first let's think about what we are gaining. Of course the food - which can be eaten alone or on the go. The "no TV" - that's always a good thing but can be done individually. The camaraderie and conversation................Aha! this is the true value of a family dinner with NO TV, I repeat NO TV. Look at each other, talk to each other - very important stuff. I work (as a nurse) in many different people's homes. I am surprised by how many families never sit at a table together. They eat at the counter - kids alone, TV blasting away. They eat in their bedrooms separately and alone. Parents eat separately or at a different time. Very strange to me. Any way with our busy work and activity schedules it is true that a group meal is hard to orchestrate on a daily basis. Try to aim for 2-3 group meals a week or at least one parent with the kids at the majority of the meals. Whatever works for your family.

It is so important to listen to your tweens. Let them unload the stress or highlight or their day. " How was school?" and "What did you do today?" are too cliche. Try " Rate today on a scale of 1 to 10? follow with " why so low/high?" .......Or " What's the next big project you have due?" Give them something to whine about - they love that and they will start talking. Listen to them now and they will learn to trust you with their worries. Don't judge and don't give advise unless they ask for it , just let them vent and let them draw their own conclusions. Offer encouragement ie; " why do you think that happened?" Or "What would have been better?" If they trust you now with their angst, they will talk to you much more as a teenager and that's the goal here people. We're working hard now to help make the teen years less "Bumpy" remember ? Bumpy is such a cute word to describe the teen years (LOL)

To Vaccinate or Not Vaccinate - That is The Question?

2008-05-28T02:52:00.002-04:00

So much controversy over an injection to prevent certain types of cervical cancer. As a nurse of over 20 years I gave this a lot of thought -- A LOT! I read about it, talked about it, read some more, thought some more , talked some more ( sorry,I'm a wishy washy Pisces) And I finally decided "no" simply because it's just too new and unproven to be safe. Also I became very skeptical when the drug companies began their media blitz and we all know that is just about making $$$$$$$$$$$. My dd is 18 and she has the facts and can get it herself if she wants to. However she is a shot chicken.

Anyway I found this on So Sioux Me and had to post it.

A mother who radiates self-love

and self-acceptance

vaccinates her daughter

against low self-esteem.

Naomi Wolf

Don't you love it?

Tracee Sioux has great ideas on her blog about raising independent girls go read and enjoy it.

Dress Up Doll Clones

2008-05-25T05:24:00.005-04:00

Ok so it's time for a grumpy post and here's whats causing it:

Barbie and Bratz dolls. In all the Barbie videos every character has the same barbie body and face shape. The whole video line should be called the "Barbie Clone Zone " It makes no sense. You can add variety to the female form and still have them all meet the "10" standard our crazy society thinks is ideal . Look at any professional cheerleader squad - there's a variety of women's shapes and faces. Mattel thinks the only difference between women is their clothes and hairstyles! I loved Midge, remember her, Barbies BFF( apparently not forever she is no longer made)- she had freckles and a rounder face, a normal person "look".

I can't comment on the Bratz doll stories or videos because their facial design is so extreme with make-up they look like ugly caricatures of prostitutes. So abnormal looking I can't get past my first impression to learn anything more about them. I did see an ad of a movie coming out about them - all I can say is YUK!
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Is there a line of commercial dolls with variations in face and body shapes? Maybe not but these two just drive me crazy because of the "perfect body" image that makes girls think they are lacking in their appearance. I urge Moms to avoid these dolls and find something better for their dds to enjoy. How about dolls of real people and videos of real women? Think of any?

Princess Jewel Dress Up Dolls

2008-05-21T00:41:00.003-04:00

Does your girl love playing with dolls?

(Do you? Tell the truth....)

There are so many free online dress up doll games. Have your daughters discovered them yet? Just google "dress up dolls" and have fun exploring all the sites!
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How would she like to design a doll she can keep and enjoy after the computer is turned off? That's exactly what our Design-A-Doll kits are -a dress up doll craft that you can make at home. The large variety of supplies included in every kit allow every doll to be totally unique. The princess' above are just two examples of what can be made. Check out these and other styles at Candee Crafts.com

Tame That Tween Tongue

2008-05-20T03:07:00.005-04:00

Has your fun loving adorable child turned into an unrecognizable fresh mouthed "Tween"? Do you wonder what went wrong? Did I make some horrible parental mistake to cause my child to morph into this alien nasty being? Her friends don’t act like this…………….or do they?
Rest assured you are not alone. Most all kids change in the tween years, that's 8 to 12, and develop a testy unpredictable attitude towards you - " THE PARENTAL UNIT". They begin to see the freedoms and power of adulthood and they want to grow up as fast as possible. But of course they cannot speed up time and so they are very impatient and frustrated and they speak and act out towards you. You, who makes the rules and they see as the person who won't let them have any fun.
Why can't I stay up all night? Why can't I go shopping every day? Why can't I watch TV all day? Why can't I walk to my friends house at night? And on and on and on…….. Of course you must say "NO" a lot and then the fresh and sometimes nasty tongue gets out of hand.
Try these tips to help curb the tween tongue.
1. During an afternoon, when there is harmony in the household, have a "sit down at the table" talk with the tween and both parents. Let them know you will not tolerate rude language from them and they will be disciplined for it. Be specific about what exactly crosses the line, and what the punishment will be. You will need to allow some behaviors from them that are acceptable expressions of frustration such as eye rolling, deep sighs, refusing to look at you , etc. These behaviors are not horrible, just very annoying.
2. Stick to the plan and don’t argue with them. When they are rude don't get emotional. Wait awhile until the tension has subsided and then tell them they have earned a punishment of_______ (whatever you decide is appropriate). It's very important that you don't get caught up into arguing with them. Once you tell them "No you are not allowed to do that because_____________", walk away from them. If they keep nagging, ignore them and get away from them. Answering them once is enough. They enjoy the arguing, believe it or not, because they feel in control of you, so simply refuse to do it..
3. Give your tween some additional privileges as long as she has been behaving . Allow a little later bedtime. Allow her more of her own choices in clothing and room decor. Extend curfews for special parties and activities. These little freedoms send a message - That mature behavior has it's rewards.
4. Assign your tween some household chores. Chores teach two things. They learn that growing up means assuming some of the work of managing a home and family. They also build self esteem because they are doing something that is important.
5. Together with your tween, plan and do some fun family activities. Even if they act like this is boring or they just "don't want to", make them do it anyway. They may act stubborn at first but they will soon forget to be grumpy and have a good time. Let them bring a friend along if you think this will encourage participation. Your tween needs to know that you enjoy being with them, even if they act like they don’t care. Deep down inside they do care very much.
The tween years bring on new challenges for parents.
The fresh words they use can be shocking and hurtful to parents. A combination of discipline for the rude behavior and allowing some beginning adult responsibilities can curb this problem. Let the tween know the plan, stick to it, refuse to argue, allow some grown up responsibilities, and enjoy fun family time as well. Keep the parent and tween relationship both respectful and loving. The difficult teen years are next and you want to head into age 13 and beyond with a solid foundation.

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A New Dress Up Doll Game That's Fun and Beneficial

2008-05-14T05:25:00.004-04:00

I found something new and interesting for tweens to enjoy and benefit from. It's an online networking game site about fashion and dressing up dolls, where girls can be a designer or a store owner and learn all about the "biz". Designing, planning, purchasing, marketing and managing the finances of a business.- all pretend of course. Parents and teachers are "liking it" not to mention the 58 thousand plus tweens who are signed up and playing.

Google "dress up dolls" and you will find tons of free games that, to me, are just click and point coloring games. This new site FashionFantasyGame.com is truly teaching the girls some skills about running a business. They also must network with other store owners and designers to succeed. This is wonderful for them to learn the benefits of camaraderie and teamwork between women. Women in the real business world need to learn to work together and not undermine each other, and this game supports this concept.

A few drawbacks.........You have to pay a fee,( $30.00 for 6 months) to get to use jewelry, hats and handbags in the designing phase and become a VIP member. Pretty cheap fun IMO.

The three models you choose from are 3 different skin tones but all the same body shape- "tall and skinny" Not at all realistic which makes our tweens AGAIN feel like the don't measure up unless they are this exact body type. On the other hand if they had a chubby or plus size model choice, no one would pick it anyway. I have a doll design party biz, as you may know, and when I first started out I offered 3 body types. Every single kid chose the tall thin dolls and the other dolls sat sadly alone and ignored. After 6 months I eliminated them from the stock. Those of us who are short or chubby or plus size can live life to the fullest and be ecstatic.(I am) But if we could start from scratch and choose our appearance............tall and thin would be it!

Third concern- the site is a marketing tool for a clothing line for tweens and that's cool except several pieces of the line (skirt, shorts and pants) are displayed worn with the waistline 3 inches below the bellybutton and this is too naked and provocative for ages 6 to 12. They are not swim suits. Not what I like to see on girls or women of any age but over 18 it's their choice. I know I have an 18 year old! Luckily her "nude under belly look" is rare and for the beach, but when she was a tween and up to 17 we had a few fights over how much skin should be displayed for all the world to see. We had one big fight in a store in Key West. At age 12 she wanted a tropical wrap around skirt that just covered the "pubes" ! I refused to allow it and she had a "snit fit" that drug on through dinner...............but she never asked me again for that style. Yeah! One point for the Mom.

Mother's Day Fun Craft - Easy and Homemade

2008-05-10T04:23:00.004-04:00

I just realized how bad people might feel who read my last post and can't "be with" their Mom on Mother's Day because they live to far away, or have to work or some one's sick or a lot of other reasons. The next best thing is to make her something special, so she can feel you are with her. Crafting for Mom is not difficult, especially with a glue gun. Here's the simplest idea in the world.

Mother's Day Closet Sachets

Go to the fabric store and buy a quarter yard of some really pretty fabric, and 2 yards of matching ribbon. Get something you know your Mom would like- her favorite color or flower or animal etc. Next go to the flower store and buy some lavender or any other flower/fragrance you know she loves. Cut the fabric into squares of 4" by 4". Glue 3 sides closed and then stuff them with the lavender and glue the 4th side closed. Cut the ribbon into 6" long pieces and glue each end to one corner of the stuffed squares, making a loop. These can now be hung over the hangers in Moms closet to bring a lovely fragrance to her clothes.

Once the scent fades, she can spray them with her favorite perfume and hang them up again!

I have some sachets my Mom made for me many years ago and I refresh them every time I want a little pick me up surprise in my closet. Kids, tweens and teens can help with this craft and don't forget to wrap them up in pretty package and use the left over flowers to decorate the Mother's Day gift.

The funny thing in my house is that I share a closet with my dh! I wonder if he enjoys the closet as much as I do?

Mother's Day Gift Ideas

2008-05-07T03:22:00.004-04:00

I'm cheap I admit it. It's partly because I'm craft wise and want to make things of better quality than I see in the stores. Also because I can't stand to see people who shop as a pastime when they don't need anything. I hate materialistic people who buy designer purses and clothes, expensive jewelry, fake nails and hair extensions, ............ such a waste of money. Women can be pretty and happy without this over priced crap. I'm a sales shopper and I buy quality things but not designer s_ _ _. Any way I saw this commercial where the women says "What gift should I get my Mom on Mothers' Day? She has everything and says she doesn't want anything?" Then she proceeds to shop anyway. Hmmmmm..........how about doing what she asks. STOP THE SHOPPING LADIES ! If your Mom truly is loaded with all the comforts of style and home then skip the boring Mother's day gift and find another way to celebrate with her. Try just spending time with her, take her to lunch, have her over for a meal and relaxation, go to a chic flick together, a concert, a play ...........you get my point. Mom will remember the fun and laughter you share way more than one more duplicate standard"Mother's day gift" item to put in the closet or jewelry box.

If after all my rambling you still have to buy Mom a gift .....here's one she'll always remember!

Parents & Tweens Take Note- Some Nightmares Are Celebrity Realtiy

2008-05-05T05:17:00.008-04:00

Ever remember having a nightmare where you find yourself in a public place, like work or school, and you realize your in your underwear? You wake up and your so relieved it was just a dream. Thank God.... Totally embarrassing!!!!! I personally have horrible dreams where my teeth fall out. No big Freudian enigma here.............I'm scared to death of the dentist. Being a nurse this is really embarrassing too..... Anyway, worse than being at school or work half naked would be say ...........teaching in a classroom or speaking to a large crowd, on a runway, Or MAYBE AT YOUR WEDDING! AND YOUR FAMOUS, AND THE CAMERAS ARE FLASHING IN YOUR FACE! OMG Is she loony bin bound? Mariah Carey is it another nervous breakdown? No she's smiling. GIRL, GIRL, GIRL, What were you thinking ...Oh never mind it's a celebrity and I forgot they do not think rationally, or at all.

Moms I beg you, start a file for your tweens called " stupid things you should never do in public" (note to yourselves - lots of these things are great fun in very private company- smirk) Put in most of Madonnas' costumes (and movies), add Britney's crotch shot, Cher's see thru Oscar dress and Mariah Carey's Wedding Gown .....I mean no gown!

I've got it ....she's really starring in a movie parody called "Please Runaway Bride" or " My Big Fat Half-Naked Wedding".

It's so demeaning when women make sexual tarts of themselves, and a BRIDE! Tell me what you think -any doubt, over the top?

Billy Ray Cyrus Causes Achy Breaky Heartache in Tween Fans

2008-04-30T01:06:00.009-04:00

Poor Miley. Another nice young girl being led through the world by idiot parents in the entertainment biz. Any responsible parent with any honest concern for their daughter would not leave their child unattended at photo shoot, by a famous photographer known for unusual and often provocative photos. One news report said the parents left the shoot before the half naked pic was taken, but her grandmother and a teacher were there. Are they stupid too. If a photographer wants to take an artsy suggestive half nude pic of a 15 year old child star............#1 NO - she's too young ...................AND #2 The Media , Vanity Fair, will exploit her to sell mags $$$$$(and they did), so DOUBLE NO!!

And didn't they see the pics before publication? You bet they did! Who in their right mind would not be able to predict the outrage of her fans - innocent tweens. Again the message to tweens that nudity and sexualizing kids is OK. Calling all parents............explain to your upset kids AGAIN, how this is so wrong for a young girl, and how people make mistakes.

AND what is with the picture of Miley with her Dad - no cozy loving father & daughter pose here. They look estranged, like they have had a fight. Sorry Ms. Leibovitz you get an "F" from me on this project. Actually this picture was foreshadowing of the day after vanity fair hit the stands! She should be at odds with her Dad, He truly let her down by not protecting her from the selfish money grubbing media. I encourage everyone to tell him he screwed up and I hope his "achy breaky heart" feels like S_ _ _ !

Pretty Up the Bunny - Part Two

2008-04-28T23:02:00.003-04:00

"Tomorrow" got away from me,while I was visiting other blogs and chatting away - It's so much fun . Mid-Century Modern Moms is a new favorite. Stay away if you don't want to know how crazy the home gets with teenagers in it. Here's part two of the bunny craft.............

Dress a Bunny ( Plushie of course)

2008-04-21T04:22:00.004-04:00

Time for a new craft video and your tween will love this one. She will get to chose fabric and trims and design an oufit for her favorite stuffed bunny, monkey or doll. Be sure to let her make all the color choices and do the mixing and matching HERSELF. The fun and playing here is the joy and sharing of time together .......... NOT producing a perfect looking finished project. Mom, you can design one yourself if you want a "pretty perfect bunny" to add to next years Easter decor. Due to the 10 min. limit on youtube this project required a Part One- making the dress and Part Two-decorating the dress, headband and shoes. Part Two will be up tomorrow.

Be sure to give your tween lots of compliments on her project, even if it's not exactly how you would do it. Compliments on a project like this build self confidence and self esteem.

Just relaxing and playing with your kids is so much fun and so important. They need to have unstructured unrushed free time with you. AND, YOU NEED unrushed play time too - it's a great stress buster for busy Moms. As kids turn into tweens and teens their play time can develop into mutually shared activities with parents that are more sophisticated both mentally and physically such as art projects, games and sports. Crafts that are keepsakes and not just paper and glue items for the frig door are a perfect example.

My daughter loved crafts as a tween and I must admit sometimes turned out a project that was cuter and jazzier than mine! My son I took to the raquetball court to "teach" him thebasics of the game and he whooped my butt the first time!!

Supplies:
Critter
fabric (jersey,knit,fleece etc. non fraying)
measuring tape,
sissors,
pencil or chalk marker
trims (flowers, ribbon, buttons,etc.
fun foam

And of Course Your GOGO GLUE GUN ..............HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!

The Power of the Pissed Off Parents of Tweens

2008-04-19T05:12:00.005-04:00

I refer you to a post about Abercrombie and Fitch donating $10 million to a childrens hospital to get their name on the building. So Sioux Me. Be sure to read all the posts' comments ( maybe 10) and learn that the hospital ,"due to 3,000 peoples complaints" has reconsidered naming the ER after the questionable company. Thank goodness big corporations (in this case a hospital) can be pressured by negative media attention brought on by Moms writing and complaining, to reconsider a dumb decision. Why couldn't they have told them "NO" in the first place? Are they that desparate for donations? Won't another organization that is "pro" healthy role models and clothing step up with some $$$? Will I add my usual sarcastic humor to this post....................NO! this is serious business and our letters accomplished a goal. Go add your letter to the 3,000- the more the better. Mail Campaign

Momma Rock's Rules For Tweens

2008-04-12T05:53:00.005-04:00

Chris Rocks' Mom who has parented 17 kids ( her own plus many foster children) has written a book and is making the rounds on the talk shows. It sounds great! and she is pretty funny herself, and she said Chris was not funny at all as a kid. Apparently he began to be funny on his front porch stoop mimicking his mother!! Not good, I would imagine, when Mom is a tough disciplinarian. But how else could you raise 17 kids and not be a beat up , half empty punching bag when it was over-- now she's a grandma. We both agree on that --pure FUN!!!

Anyway she wavered my thinking on my one HARD FAST RULE that my tweens LOVED to argue with me about ------" NO TV IN THE BEDROOMS" (bedrooms of kids that is..............I finished school in the top 50 of a class of 700 and I earned my TV in my bedroom......so don't go there) TV in the bedrooms allows a kid to be too isolated from the family and lets them surf through tons of garbage content and there's a ton of garbage on TV.

Anyway she said that certain kids could have a TV in their room..............."who would that be ?" asked Whoopee...........Kids who finished their homework first, only watched decent content and shut it of at a predetermined time set by the parent.

On what planet , and in what galaxy far far away do they bioengineer tweens like this? I've never met a kid who could meet these qualifications.........NEVER!!! As soon as they get old enough...............say 11 or 12 ,to understand the rules they move into the sneakiest years - when the lying begins. Lots of little lies to avoid getting yelled at -- they all do it. It's called keeping the Mom off my back.

Oh I know who would qualify for the TV in the bedroom ...............Steve Erkel ! Can you think of any others????

Men Ugh !!! & #%&@*???

2008-04-06T23:36:00.005-04:00

Men just DO NOT GET IT !!! It is so important to me to reach as many Moms of tweens as possible with my blog, and share resources with them to help their daughters be allowed to just "BE THEMSELVES". To focus on their self development as bright young women and not obsess on their physical appearance and the pressures of the mass media marketing frenzy. As I was talking to my DH (and today I hesitate with that "D") he was nodding and I thought 'listening" to my rant about the 77,000 ads that have bombarded all the little unsuspecting 12 year old girls, and the mental health issues of our teen girls. Finally I paused to breathe some, and he had absolutely no comment, nada, nothing, zilch. ....................I just stared at him for about 20 seconds............... I said "Don't you find this so annoying?" ( We have a daughter!) Him,"Huh?"...................................................His brain was not even in the room with me. I was pissed!!

"If Kyle Busch had a boil on his ass and couldn't drive in the race this Sunday, you would talk about that for a solid 45 min. Wouldn't You ???!!!! But my life's interest and passion - No"

He said "Yep" That's all, just "Yep" Then we both laughed. Him because he thought my comment was funny. I laughed because............ Men are so dense about so many important things and why do we keep them around ??? It 's a good thing men have a few good uses. LOL

Three Cheers for a Bar of Soap !

2008-04-01T05:10:00.004-04:00

I finally went to the Dove website and viewed all the films and played with the interactive stuff. I am going to buy their products from now on ! They are" right on" the whole point I'm yelling about on my blog :

" WE HAVE TO STOP THE CONSTANT MESSAGE TO OUR GIRLS THAT THEY ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH !!"

Please go to this site and let your girls play with the programs. This will start lots of chat between the two of you and give you a chance to bond over common girl worries and problems and answers --PERFECT ! Here's my favorite video............Make sure you turn off my music player first ( far right and down,down,down)

That little girl is so innocent. I read an article that stated by the age of 12, girls have seen 77,000 commercials from the beauty industry telling them they must improve their appearance. I find it sickening. Don't get me wrong................. Hey, I wear a little makeup, I color my grey hair and I gel my frizzy wild hair but this I feel falls under the category of grooming. I would not want to stop my grooming routine for fear of causing a shock to my friends and hubby. For young girls to believe they have multiple serious flaws and resort to behaviors such as anorexia, bulimia, depression, skipping school, cutting and suicide is just horrific ! Go to the Dove site and use this tool as one way to build your daughters self image.

R Rated Movies for Tweens-- No WAY!

2008-03-28T10:02:00.004-04:00

Some Moms are waaaaaaay off course when planning birthday parties for tweens. Remember the one I wrote about who was taking ten year olds for the day on the town in a LIMO! This is not the only unusual call I have received and,............ I have personally dealt with my own girl being invited to some bizarre events. One Mom wanted to allow 12 year olds a hotel room (with Mom next door) for a semi-supervised slumber party. Why don't people just do this in their own home and REALLY supervise the kids. Is this yet another case of a "Marshmallow" parent afraid to say NO to the tween who wants something that is unrealistic and unsafe for a 12 year old. Moms I beg you "Get a Backbone and do What is Right for your YOUNG girls !!!! "

Another party my daughter was invited to at age 10 involved a movie night & slumber party with a fellow girl scout of an intelligent Mom. I however was always the guardian of the "R" rated movies form my kids ( they fought with me but I was relentless NO WAY !! and I would retreat to my room) So I just casually asked what movies they would be watching? I was informed by the well spoken mother of 3 girls that they had "Something About Mary" ( This movie begins with a hysterical "cum" in the hair scene), "The Exorcist" ( full of foul language and an implied self fornication scene), and "Dirty Dancing" (several sex scenes and an abortion story line). These are not for 10 year-olds NO WAY NO HOW. I laughed until I almost peed my pants the first time I saw "Something About Mary" and "Dirty Dancing" is my favorite movie of ALL TIME..................................."Nobody puts Baby in the corner"............................ That's when I fell in love with Patrick Swaaze ( he's in my prayers now)

So I told her my girl was not allowed to see R movies and she wondered what movies I would allow. I went to the local blockbuster and picked up some great flicks in the "G" section - so simple ............I just don't get some people ????? What do you think - am I too old fashioned? And don't tell me 10 year olds don't understand what's in those movies. They talk among themselves and often understand it all too incorrectly, which is even worse!

Baby Frankensteins !

2008-03-24T23:34:00.005-04:00

I read a lot of articles about parenting. Summaries of the results of research studies ( no one wants to read a whole research study or,........... no one can read a research study without falling asleep), trends reported by leading therapists, problems in the school systems, and Moms requesting help in parenting forums. I plan to discuss them - but I am not going to quote all the resources and footnote the info. Just trust me I'm not making this stuff up. There's no need to - real life is full of kid and parent problems. AND a lot of the solutions are just plain-COMMON SENSE !!!

Shrinks are reporting a new type of childhood behavior problem they are calling "Frankenkinders" Kinder- age 4-5 , combined with Franken as in Frankenstein / monster.
Little monsters or BRATS as I like to call them - an old fashioned term I guess. The latest new contributing factor causing this brat 00ps,...............I mean frankenkinder behavior is overloading young children with technology toys and decreasing the amount of actual human contact they experience. Have you seen any? In restaurants they have gameboys and dvd players entertaining them so Mom and Dad can ignore them and have a drink and chat.

Have you seen the commercial ( I cringe every time) where the two boys are in the new minivan watching a movie and playing hand held video games. The father arrives and sticks his head in and delightfully informs them that "the tree house is finished !!" The two boys ask if it has a dvd player or video game system and of course he sayes "No" and they shut the van door in his face and say "NO thanks we'll stay in here"
.......................I hate it !!

So SAD to chose electronics over a "tree house" full of make believe play and fresh air ! I lived in trees growing up and so did my kids. It was our own little world/ fort - we loved it.

Parents are using the electronic entertainment to babysit the kids and the kids are becoming dependant on it and demanding more and more of it. A sad ( my favorite word today) word used to describe these kids is "emotionally neglected' because of the huge decrease in interaction between them and their parents. "EMOTIONALLY NEGLECTED" ---THIS IS HORRIBLE. This is a term often used when a child is abandoned and has no parent --now it's happening in homes where the parents are PRESENT !

Technology is FANTASTIC don't get me wrong - but it has to be a small part of you life - not the majority of your life. Leave the electronic games at home - there are tons of games to play while waiting for the waitress to bring the food ie ; hangman (on the back of the paper place mat ), drawing and coloring (bring supplies with you), "I spy something red( blue, black, etc............)can you guess what it is?", sneaking salt into Dads tea, give the toddler a lemon to suck on ( might want to bring the video camera) , whose paper airplane (made from place mats) can travel the furthest, how many trips to the bathroom before Mom looses her cool -and my sons FAVORITE - Guess how many pieces of gum are stuck under the table? --------------- you get the idea -Have fun and make family memories. Tell me what games do you play while waitng for the food?

Help, My Daughter is Pregnant !

2008-03-22T00:40:00.004-04:00

HELP! My teenager has run away from home!,................help, my teen has been suspended from school!,.............................help, my daughter has been arrested,.........................help my daughter is pregnant! These are very common problems you will find if you visit forums for parents of teenagers. These problems are tough to deal with and very heartbreaking for mothers. I have experienced a few of these situations and cried ..........a lot. What is the answer???.............. It's usually counseling for the family, tough love parenting, prayers and family support. These answers do not have immediate results and there are months and sometimes years before the teenager matures and gets their life back on track.

What I have to offer in this blog IMO (in MY Opinion) is a prevention plan. This plan must be started in the tween years (ages 7 to12). You must bond with your tween through a common interest. All the hours you spend with your tween doing fun things together is critical talking and teaching time. You are teaching by being a great role model, by discussing teen problems and how to prevent them, by developing their self esteem, and by Listening, Listening, Listening to their feelings and ideas and helping them to understand how to navigate the crazy world they must live in.

Our culture is not helping to raise girls with values and self respect. Our pop culture quite frankly is poisonous to our young women. As moms we must teach our girls to ignore the pop culture garbage messages and teach them to be strong and successful as individuals and not followers.